It's Hard to Grow up!

Today I had several realizations that my children are growing up and I need another baby. I'm so reluctant for Aidan to experience the milestones that prove your child to be a toddler, no longer a baby! He was weighed at the doctor today (he has bronchialitis AGAIN so they prescribed a steroid to use in his nebulizer)and he is well over the 20 pound weight requirement to move him from his rear facing car seat. I don't know why I was so shocked when I realized that in one month when he turns one we'll be putting him in a "big boy" car seat like Jayson. I'm seriously crying a little bit while I type this. I don't want them to grow up. I really don't. Today after I picked Jayson up from preschool we went to the pharmacy for Aidan's RX and while I waited in line Jayson went over to check his blood pressure. I know that there's a sign that says no children or whatever, but I've always felt that since my child is so advanced and responsible for his age that sign doesn't really refer to him (ha, ha). I wasn't worried at all because he does it every time..he sits down, puts his arm in, waits for the beep, and comes back to tell me what the machine says about his heart. I forgot to watch him while I paid and when I was done I turned to find Jayson standing, looking at me. As soon as I said "oh, hi" he started sobbing. His face just crumbled. I looked over at the 12 year old that had been sitting in the chair next to the machine but he was just reading a book. I asked Jayson what was wrong but he wouldn't even talk to me. I started to get worried that someone had hurt him or who knows what. Finally, after I took him out to the car and we were driving away he told me that that boy had told him the machine wasn't a toy and had turned it off. I kept asking him if the boy had hurt him or hit him or said something mean but Jayson said no. He was just completely crushed and ashamed that the boy had told him not to play on it. I have never seen Jayson's feelings hurt like that and it was heart-breaking! He has perfect self-esteem (up until now). That's one of my favorite things about him...his absolute assurance that everyone loves him and each other. His eyes were opened to the realities of growing up: self doubt, embarrassment, shame. He suddenly seemed so young and vulnerable to me. I hate that they have to grow up. I know that it's unavoidable and necessary, but I just wish I could protect them from pain, grief, hate, and every other thing they'll encounter in this world while they're in it. I guess all I can do is try to help them see the good in things. I need to get prego stat before I become irrational over Jays and Aidy.